I'm an overachiever, a do-it-all. My life is a complex dance, throwing one thing in the air long enough to balance five other things. It's worked for a while, I mean, here's just a short list of what I do on a daily basis.
- Mary Kay
- Music Ministry at my church (which is kind of tied in with work)
it's a lot. A lot, a lot. And when someone takes on that much, something is going to bust the dam if something doesn't change.
I've spent a lot of time in therapy really coping with my hand of cards from life. Yes, I may be happy-go-lucky a lot of the time, but I suffer from depression. Depression is a shadow, even when you can't see it, it's lurking. I've realized, taking on so much stuff was subconsciously done on purpose. If I'm always busy, I can't sit around and think or mope. It keeps depression away. Sometimes.
I've got four semesters (and two minimesters) before I graduate. I'm graduating in December 2015. It's possible. The only problem is a lot of writing. Between Fall 2014-Fall 2015, I'll be taking three to four high intensity writing classes every semester.
Just thinking it about it now, it's hard to think about how draining that will be. I would not be surprised if I don't publish another book after The Assassin. At least, not until after graduation. Maybe, but I doubt it. The last thing I'll want to do after writing papers is write a book. At least, I doubt it. Too early to tell.
School is obviously most important, even if I don't always want it to be. I know this summer, I won't go to Mary Kay seminar because I'll be in classes. But, even sooner, I think it's time to hang up the hat on running a photography business.
It's just not something I'm whole-heartly passionated about, and while I'll still do fun shoots with my friends, it's just not something I'm wanting to do anymore.
I need to dedicate myself back to my writing and my school and other aspects of life that I enjoy.