It's Not Easy

I honestly have no idea where this post is going to go, but this post is a one I need for myself.

It's been almost two years since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism. For the longest time, I was told "just take a pill and it'll all be better."

It's been two years of increasing my dosage every six months because the medicine just won't work. Finally, they're switching me over to a new drug, and I'm about to start that. For a long time, I thought it was just something I could live with. Once the pill would work, I'd be all good to go as long as I stayed on it.

But it's not. I never realized just how much the thyroid does. I knew it controlled hormones, but that was it. I've known it was a big factor in why losing weight is so effing hard for me. I can't produce enough metabolism to burn any calories really. That, my eating habits (I'm the world's worst eater ever -but that's a different problem for another time), and the stress of school is adding more and more pounds on and I can't stand it. I'm already 2 pants sizes bigger than I was when I moved to college (I was a 12-14 when I moved here. Now I'm only a 14 on a really nice day). I can't afford to buy more clothes because I'm getting fatter. 

I sleep all the time. It's always been hard to get out of bed in the morning because of my thyroid, but lately, it's just been plain ridiculous. My first class is at ten, but I set my alarm at 7:30 so that way I have time to wake up and get going before I actually have to go to campus. 

Just for shits and giggles, I googled "weight loss for hypothyroidism patients" and honestly, the results are bleak looking. At this point, is there a point to going every day? It takes me weeks to get into the habit and feel better about it, and even when I do feel better about going, most days I'm still so tired. 

I've also noticed that I've been feeling a whole lot weaker lately. Out of breath doing things I used to do all the time. 

Hypothyroidism isn't easy. In fact, it sucks. But it's a part of my life, and it's not ever going away. At this point, all I can do is pray this new medicine works. 

1 Comment:

Laura Elizabeth said...

I am so sorry you are dealing with hypothyroidism...after becoming a mother my thyroid was acting weird, and I was told that I had hypothyroidism. The started me on the pill...and I took the pill...one day I stopped and after a few months I was tested again and thyroid was "normal". So I only struggle with the emotional drained that it was to have a diagnose. I can tell you this...you are beautiful and have hope that the new medicine its going to work and make you feel better.

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