26.2.13

Satisfied

"Looking for light on rainy days
Needing so much so many ways
Constantly throwing myself in a bind
Oh, I got no time to hesitate
I want it now, why should I wait
I've tried but I just can't be satisfied."
LeAnn Rimes - "Satisfied"


I'm just not feeling it anymore. Satisfaction. I feel like I'm on complete auto pilot. Go to class. Come home. Do homework. Study. Work on stuff for my job. Read blogs. Watch TV. Go to bed. Wake up.

Repeat.

I had a rocky start to the semester and I thought catching up would help smooth it over and make things okay, but it didn't. Things are still tough. I'm dreading every class I'm in for the most part. Even my writing class and my design class.

I just can't stand them. 

Why is it that something that usually brings me such joy just brings me misery? 

Lately, I feel like the only joy I ever find is from watching Castle or Disney movies. I'm stuck in routine.

I'm a creative.

I thrive on emotion.

But lately, there's nothing.

I just can't seem to care anymore. I've been late to class two days in a row.

I'm never late. Not if I can avoid it. I'm always the one ten minutes early.

Something needs to give, but I feel like I'm the only thing that ever does.

So, I'm just stuck here. Completely unsatisfied.

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