Short Snippet Saturday (#1)

Current Mood: not nearly as relaxed as I should be -_-
Currently Listening to: "I'm Lit" by SHeDAISY

So, in part of my "let's-make-Lala-Land-better" plan, I'm going to be doing a weekly Short Snippet Saturday. And I'm already behind, this was supposed to happen last weekend.
So, because Snatched is my current WIP (work in progress), the next couple of weeks I'll be posting snippets from it.
This one is a biggie, this is the first major turning point in the story, and I really like the way it turned out, but I still think it could use some work. 

They were gone.
    That wasn't even possible.
    I ran into the bathroom and locked the door.
    I pulled the phone out and dialed 911. "Hello, this is 911, what's your emergency?"
    "Those men that have been robbing the stores, there here, at my house, trying to break in. They're going to try to kill me. I'm the girl who saw them kill the store owner," I said. I was starting to panic, I could hear it in my voice.
    "What's your address?"
    I told the woman where I was and waited.
    "Tell the police it's Zoey Lauder calling. Please, they'll know why that's important," I whispered.
    I heard a loud bang and I knew they were coming.
    "You look upstairs, and I'll look down here. Wherever she is, she can't hide now."
    "Please, hurry. They're in the house," I whispered.
    "We're sending someone over," the woman assured me.
    "Please. I'm scared," I said.
    "Hey, Steve!" the man called. "There's something going on in the bathroom!"
    "Oh no." I was shaking, I was scared. Scared didn't even begin to describe how I was feeling.
    I could see his shadow in the crack between the door and the floor. He tried the door, but the lock held.
    I wanted to sigh in relief, but I couldn't.
    "Bob, is there anything in there?"
    "I think so, but the door is locked."
    "Then break it down," Steve said.
    "With what?"
    "I don't know. Anything."
    There was silence for a moment, and then the door broke open.
    I slid farther down in the tub.
    "Miss, are you still there?"
    I didn't answer.
    "Check the bath tub."
    "I bet she's hiding in the bath tub."
    There were feet coming towards me.
    I closed my eyes.

love, lala


Mrs.Darcy said...

Oh my gosh! how could you just leave a cliffhanger like that?! Argh!
Just. . .post it up when you can on inkpop and notify me. XD


TK Knox said...

You're so mean! >.< But I know cliff hangers are needed to keep a story alive...so I can't hate you...*sigh*

07 08 09 10
Pin It button on image hover